THIS ISN’T BACON – BUT IT SURE TASTES (AND SMELLS) LIKE IT

vegan bacon on toast this isn't bacon
Hi, Pathetically

Since it launched, THIS’ range of plant-based chicken and bacon alternatives has wormed its way on to fast food menus across the U.K. From hot new recruit Chick ‘n’ Sours to Patty & Bun and Chilango. The times they are a-changed. And the best part is you can buy THIS Isn’t Bacon (and THIS Isn’t Chicken) and cook it at home.

These days new vegan options hit shelves faster than Lewis Hamilton. It wasn’t that long ago when THIS’ plant-based rashers first launched in Holland & Barrett stores countrywide, becoming the proverbial plant-based white whale. White kale? Now they’re everywhere.

Unlike other vegan bacon I’ve tried, there’s more to THIS Isn’t Bacon. It’s thicker. Juicier. More substantial. More “meat” like. In fact, in its raw state, it looks more like chunks of smoked salmon than bacon. But as soon as it hits the pan the nose remembers.

As always, I cook my plant-based meat a bit longer than the recommended dosage – in this case, three minutes. Seriously? What can you do in three minutes? I’m a crispy bacon, well-done kind of guy. And cooked properly, it tastes great. On pancakes. On toast. On its own. I’ve even gone all out and made my own THIS Isn’t Bacon Beyond Meat cheeseburgers.

Just like actual bacon, however, THIS Isn’t Bacon is not health food – unless you’re a pig. In fact, it’s 24% soy protein, 8% soy protein isolate and described as “ridiculously high in protein.” You know how crazy people go for protein…

Just like actual bacon, however, THIS Isn’t Bacon does possess magical hangover-curing powers. And nobody dies. So maybe this is bacon. How it’s supposed to be.

SGAIA’S STREAKY MHEAT RASHERS – ALL OF THE SIZZLE. NONE OF THE GRISTLE.

Hi, Pathetically

I used to think it was weird that vegans and vegetarians were so into “fake” meat. Now I get it. It’s how we were raised. It’s comforting. It’s convenient. The unshakeable evolution of the human fast food diet. And besides, nobody gives up bacon because they don’t like the taste. We do it because it’s cruel, it’s unhealthy and it’s killing the planet.

I have tried a few meat, dairy and egg-free bacon alternatives since I went vegan. And unsurprisingly, some of them taste like dry, “hickory flavoured” cardboard. But there is hope for plant-based foodies craving that perfect, juicy, smokey bacon taste on burgers, pancakes and scrambled tofu.

Of course, The Full Nelson’s homemade crispy tofu bacon is a vegan junk food dream. But so far, my favourite DIY supermarket option is This Isn’t Bacon. Followed by Upton’s Naturals, which is thinner and drier than I’d like and does need seasoning.

Then I stumbled across a bag of SGAIA’s Vegan Meats Streaky Mheat Rashers in Whole Foods, Piccadilly Circus. And straight away, I was intrigued.

They really do look the part. The uncooked rashers are “juicier” and more bacon-like than Upton’s, and even This Isn’t Bacon. And when you pop them in a hot pan with a splash of oil, the sizzles, crackles and smells are perfect. Close enough to trigger the feels, yet different enough to not smell like actual dead flesh cooking – which now grosses me out, a lot.

I tried the rashers in toasted cheese and bacon sandwiches and on burgers, and I’m definitely hooked. They’re crispy, chewy and bacon-thick. The taste’s fantastic as well. Salty. Smokey. With a hint of sweet maple – thanks to the combination of beech wood liquid smoke, molasses and maple syrup. Next time I think I’ll cook up a vegan carbonara. Mmm…