IT’S OFFICIAL – GALAXY CHOCOLATE HAS JOINED THE VEGANG REVOLUTION

galaxy vegan chocolate in tesco
Hi, Pathetically

I feel like I’m living that classic scene from the U.S. version of The Office. “Oh my god. Okay, it’s happening. Everybody stay calm… Stay fucking CALM!” Vegan dreams do come true, because Galaxy chocolate and Mars Inc. have finally joined the vegan revolution. And it’s every bit as luxurious and dreamy as we imagined it might be.

As usual, in the early stages of a much anticipated vegan supermarket release, Instagram’s the messenger. First it’s a coming attraction. Then people start finding the products and posting about them. And if they’re worth following, they share the locations of their discoveries. This time, Tesco’s Free From aisle’s the place to be.

I’ve learnt to head out on these kind of adventures with an air of trepidation. Don’t get your hopes up too much. It usually takes a while for them to filter through into general consumption. But when I rounded the corner of the Surrey Quays Shopping Centre Tesco Free From aisle, there they were. A light shining down on them. Angelic orchestral music playing in my ears. Like something out of Wayne’s World. “It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.” And it was.

So far, the chocolate’s available in three different flavours; Caramel and Sea Salt, Caramlised Hazelnut and Smooth Orange. Hoping not to come across too keen, I grabbed two. Caramel and Sea Salt and Caramelised Hazelnut. And headed home. Secretly wishing I’d completed the set.

Admittedly, I couldn’t wait ’til I got home. I nibbled on the bus. And straight away, it’s Galaxy chocolate through and through. Indulgent. Luxurious. Creamy. Oh man, how I’ve missed you. And the best news is there’s no soya and no palm oil. Smooth Orange, I’ll be back!

For now, the bars are £3 each. Hopefully it goes down as the product gets more and more popular. But encouragingly, and unlike regular Galaxy chocolate, the outer packaging’s recyclable and the inner film sleeve’s 100% compostable. So ethically, it seems like an expense worth paying for, right?

NOMO VEGAN CHOCOLATE – DAIRY-FREE SUPERMARKET CHOCOLATE FINALLY GETS CREAMY (AND DREAMY)

Hi, Pathetically

The shelves of my local ASDA seem to be going through a lowkey vegan renaissance at the moment. And it’s pretty exciting. First there was Kings Veggie Jerky. Then Jealous Sweets. And now I’ve spotted NOMO vegan chocolate. Truth is, it’s getting easier and easier to be vegan every day.

Generally, vegan supermarket chocolate options include Cadbury’s Bournville and whatever’s in the Free From aisle. And if you’re looking for something creamy, forget about it. It’s dark. It’s soy-based. And it’s average. If you want something dreamy you need to go to Holland & Barrett and pick up a bar (or two) of Vego Whole Hazelnut. Well, vegan friends. No more.

NOMO, or No Missing Out, vegan chocolate is made by U.K. confectioner Kinnerton. And it’s the real thing. Creamy. High-quality. And soy-free. Except the dark chocolate option. But that’s not what we’re after, right? We want soft, velvety and luxurious. And that’s exactly what NOMO brings to the table. Or bus. Or park bench. Or pavement.

So far I’ve tried the Creamy Choc bar, which reminds me of a Beacon Inside Story Delectable Truffle – it’s that creamy. And I’ve had the Caramel and Sea Salt option, which is my favourite, and reminds me of a more artisanal-tasting, less-saccharine Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Caramel.

You hear (and see) the words “game changer” thrown around so often they’ve lost all meaning. But if you’re vegan, and you’ve got a sweet tooth, and you’re tired of the boring, bland, dark chocolate options in your local Free From aisle, look out for NOMO vegan chocolate. It’s a game changer.

TESCO VEGAN JALAPENO & CHILLI CHEDDAR – TANGY COCONUT OIL ALTERNATIVE TO SPICE UP YOUR LIFE

Hi, Pathetically

Look, we all know a lot of supermarket vegan cheese is garbage. Especially when it comes to supermarket own brands. It’s a learning curve. And while Tesco’s litigation-dodging “Free From Coconut Oil Alternative to Jalapeno and Chilli Cheddar” is no I AM NUT OKAY, or Black Arts Vegan, it’s 100% tasty melted on a slice of toast or in a grilled cheese sandwich.

I always used to like spicy cheddar more than the real thing. It’s the lingering kick, I guess, that adds to the otherwise simplistic flavour. But the coconut oil cheese, itself, is firmer and tastier than other similar supermarket alternatives I’ve tried as well. It’s more like actual cheddar. Especially melted – the improved state of being for most supermarket vegan cheese.

You might not bring it out on a board with a bunch of figs and some perfectly paired wine. But it is tasty. And super convenient, if you want some easy, supermarket cheddar to melt into the gaping cheese-shaped hole in your vegan life.

JUST LOVE VEGAN CHOCOLATE CAKE – SUPERMARKET CAKE DEFIES THE ODDS. IT’S MOIST

Hi, Pathetically

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much from my Just Love Vegan Chocolate Cake. I saw someone post about it on Instagram. That they’d found it in Asda and it was tasty. And convenient baked goods are still very much a niche market in the vegan world. So I looked for it and found it in my local and here we are.

I was just after a bit of dry supermarket cake, really, to eat with my coffee. But the Just Love Food Company totally exceeded expectations. Because unlike every other cheap supermarket cake in the universe, this one’s moist. It’s like supermarket cake. Only well made. Nothing fancy. It justs tastes like whoever created it was anxious not to disappoint.

There are no dry wedges to endure until you get to the ultimately lacklustre frosting at the end. Instead, every bite’s as delicious as the next. The chocolate sponge is fluffy and rich. The chocolate frosting is generous and decadent. And the “lustered” dark chocolate drops are a 2019 one-up on the supermarket cake sprinkles I grew up eating.