hellmann's vegan mayonnaise
Hi, Pathetically

I don’t know how they’ve done it, but Hellmann’s Vegan Mayo tastes even better than the real thing. And if you see a jar in your local supermarket, grab it. Fast. Because that shit sells out quicker than Spice Girls reunion tickets. And by the time you waltz back over with a cheeky bag of Bournville Buttons, it’ll be gone.

When I hit the mayo aisle my eyes scan the shelves anxiously. Real. Light. Lighter Than Light. Squeezy. Lighter Than Light Squeezy. Garlic. Olive Oil. Chilli…

Vegan Mayo’s like the Holy Grail. And so far, I’ve only found it in bigger Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Asda (once) stores. But your chances are slim. It’s like Russian roulette. And supermarkets, it seems, simply can’t keep up with the demand.

Comparing ingredients, the biggest difference between Real and Vegan Mayo, of course, is the lack of egg yolk, which Hellmann’s seem to have replaced with modified maize starch and natural mustard flavouring. Other than that they’re identical; rapeseed oil, water, spirit vinegar, salt, sugar, lemon juice, antioxidant and paprika extract.

Only somehow, the vegan version comes out whiter than Gandalf’s beard. It’s like designer mayo. Tastier, creamier and richer than the real thing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s